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Wednesday, July 27, 2005
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Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Invisible
: Clay Aikan
What are you doing tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Still in your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive
[Chorus]
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)
I saw your face in the crowd
I called out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could be what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life
[Chorus]
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)
I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm screaming
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...
[Repeat Chorus]
memories jotted down @ 12:24 AM `
the anniversary celebrate was normal..
the day started fucked up.
had luch @ the cafe in the condo
den golf @ the indoor driving range.
now here comes the highlight of the day.
for a few months now, the boy's toilet been infested with those little fruitflies. they started having a breeding ground under the bathtub...so usually we'll spray sheltox and get rid of them.. but this time was different..my silly boy told me couple weeks back that when we spray the insecticide, we cannot light torch them up.. else everything will blow..
but this day, he was particularly smart..did the thing that he shouldnt do.. torch them up.. he was happily litting the lighter, when i was screaming for him to stop..
a blast of flames came out from the breeding hole and BOOM! the tub got blown into the air. i was blown back too! i know my baby wanted to blow my mind away on that special day but wrong way DUDE!! took him an hour to fix the tub back, while i was fuming in hot air in the living room..
then sat, the boy was on duty so i had my family gathering cos my bro's back from glasgow. saw my fav niece! she's soooo adorable! for a tender age of 17 months old, she knows how to differentiate pictures, knows how to make animal sounds and she runs so fast that she's like falling.. on her 1yr old bdae, she still didn't know how to walk.. now so fast! will upload the pics soon...
look at those babyfat cheeks!!
oh ya.. wed's mambo was alright... i enjoyed myself nvrtheless.. but some issues surfaced in the day..
i was at PS's gelare spending some time with my sista!
then this weird uncle, 50+ of age, very dirty-looking approached our table and started asking weird qns like 'is there a bus to chinatown in here??'
at that point of time, i knew something was wrong.. told him the busstop is outside. den he asked again i told him the way u came in is the way u get out....
u know how superman looked thru the wall, those kind of eyes stares. that uncle was using it on me. he practically staring at me. DUH! den he was like asking again 'got mrt go chinatown?' den he continued staring. then he was like about to touch my hair, (yes! i hear ppl saying eeks!) and he said in chinese 'miss, ur hair golden very nice, can i be friends with u?'
I WAS UTTERING FUCKING DISGUSTED!
NNBCCB!
i stood up and wanted to called the staff and poof! he fled!
den i spotted him @ 3rd floor, looking up and smiling..
this time stacy slammed the table, and he fled again to the 2nd floor.
this time i saw a security guard after like 15 mins.
both stacy and i were behaving as though we were detectives.
sneaking around..
den i spotted him again, told the guard. den the guard took his OWN DAMN SWEET TIME to hunt that fella..
after 5mins. we decided to forget it and continue our spree..
i'm still utterly disgusted!
oh well..
life's still gotta go on..
sun was okay.. headed to the flea market @ china square. AND FINALLY got wad i've been wanting all along.. a gizmo! from gremlins. omg.. i got it @ 5bucks. i simply ADORE that little creature.. so cute and lovely! then headed to SSC, poked some balls, had dinner and sat around and chill... i was busying entertaining myself with my new found love and letting the boys do the talking..
den headed over to crix's place to play with bruno!
these few days, my nose's been bleeding.. its damn annoying.. not flowing down but all clotted up.. its damn irritating when i sneeze, the whole cluster of blood comes out... freaks me out at times..
i guess the weather.. nutty weather.. hot den cold, rain den humid.
people, must take care of urself.. drink lotsa water!
memories jotted down @ 11:34 PM `
finally.. one year has passed..
this yr has had its ups and down.
stronger as we grow
hot-tempered, frustrations, anger thrown on each other.
but things grew better.
always giving in to me no matter wad
compromising to my demands.
getting to know my friends and even befriend ppl u cant stand
thank you very much monkey.
thank you for loving me!
MUAKS!
and again
happy 1st yr anniversary!
memories jotted down @ 12:00 AM `
the weather's been damn cold.
sneezing since god knows when..
raining like nobody's business.
my eyes' been stuck to jewel quest.
from sunday 3pm till nearly 1 am and yesterdae from 8am till abt 6pm
fcuking hardcore.
oh well.. i wanna get the sixth book!
btw, anyone here know how to play around with bulbs, wires, battery all those sort of things?
need help here..
lean on me
i've been hooked onto this.
its just this thing abt me, when i listen to certain things. i get hooked on..
like the canon's printer. selphy
so everytime the ad is on tv, i'll be singing the song
selphy, selphy. i like my selphy!
sounds damn kiddish!
but jo has no life now.
she's been stuck on the same topic for the past 1 mth
planning for so many things
anniversary. birthdays.
great... i heard the lao shu ai da mi song playing in my mum's room..
geez!!
no time for mambo tml.
schedules for my brains are so packed.
buy this and that.
i'm glad i have you as my pillar.
love u babymonkey!
memories jotted down @ 6:48 PM `
i've to rephrase one of my statements before ppl gets the wrong idea.
"friends are with u for a lifetime, bfs are not. "
its not that i see no future in the relationship.
friends remains as friends. while bfs will changes different status for some. some turning into husbands, fiances, some into nothing more than a friend.
get my point?
lemme tell u, cos we're so accustomed to having our friends around us. yes. we get very attached to the boys. but in the end, wad happened at every failed relationships?
who do we seek ?
friends who are there for us unconditionally.
for my case, if jase n i broke up(touchwood), i know i'll look for jasmine cos i know she'll be there for me. the past 1 yr she has been. from nothing to a friend who stands by me and think of me when she wants to get some stuffs. eg, she was at body shop yesterdae, she called me if i wanted the oceanus spray. this is wad i call a friend.
for the guys its the same too.. friends are for life, gfs aint.
guys, look back n think
when u broke up with ur gfs, who're those u turn to.. who're those been standing by u?
so? am i not right to say that friends are for a lifetime?
memories jotted down @ 2:59 PM `
hmm..very interesting topic i have. actually its linked to the boy's latest entry.
relationship problems
having a fair share of relationships myself, i've met all sorts of guys. nice, bastards, jerks, fuckers and the list goes on. and it's also because of them, i've changed and think differently tough, fearless, protective for my gals and holding friends like treasure cos i know they've stood by me in times of need and their shoulders' and ears will be there for me each time i was heart-broken.
i've been thru loads of shit my whole 20 yrs. friends, who cries buckets for the unworthy (be it guy or ger), friends whose bfs' are screwing around or even committing/attempting suicide.
its not that we're complicated.. but i guess guys will nvr understand our feeling and to be fair, we won't understand theirs too. no one will be able to read each others mind, if we just keep mum abt stuffs. someone has to start.
few pointers i'll like to point out.
*(him) = jason
(me) = me
1. (him) Friends are more importand then bfs/ gfs. ermm yeah.. her friends are more important.. when she wants time with her friends she has to have it. When we want time with ours.. we have to do it to her convenience.
(me) friends are impt, yes. but can anyone assure the stability of the r/s? friends support thru the r/s. we turn to help for a shoulder and a listening ear? friends are with u for a lifetime, bfs are not.
2. (him) She says that honesty is the most important in a relationship. She wants to know who calls you, who msgs you, who you're out with. When we ask whoever calls or msgs she says a friend ( duh would you be happily chatting with an enemy??) or it's none of our business.
(me) honesty INDEED is the most essesstial thing in the r/s. without it, nothing can work. Asking who called, msged and out with DOESNT mean u gotta answer. if u deserve privacy, we'll give but if u break the trust once. well, that's too bad! abt the chatting with ur enemy one, i think its pretty annoying cos since u know the answer already, why bothering asking?
3. (him) It's fine if a guy friend calls her or asks her out coz well... she says theyre just friends but it's not ok for us to be out or even talk to other girls.
(me) the walk of my life, i've seen own friend's bf holding hand in hand with another girl entering a hotel lobby. i went up to him and asked him wad's with that? he told me they're just friends. and so i asked 'oh, so u screw friends?' so many times in my life, so many ppl close to my heart has betrayed my trust the same way. how can i trust the same old damn excuse?
4. (him) It's normal for girls to sit around and talk about cute guys or comment on cute guys that they see on the street. We on the other hand would get a stare with the mere mention of dreamin bout seeing fiona xie in a biikin.
(me) for my case, i dun care. dream all u want, cos i know with their calibre, they'll nvr get her. so i'll just let them dream all they want.
5. (him) When a guy has a crush on your girl and you don't like it, we have to adapt to it and get used to it coz there will always be guys tryin to win her over. If you ask her to stop talkin to him, she'll say don't be silly coz he's just jokin and he's not a threat. On the other hand, if a girl like a guy and his gf doesn't like it. He'll have to stop contacting her all together.
(me) that's what they all say. 'i dun contact her anymore la'. but in actual fact, they're doing it behind ur back. i know cos i've been the one behind the back b4. guys like to have girls fighting for them. and many at times, things tend to go out of hand. if they wanna contact, fine. but pick a bloody good timing la. eg, in the afternoon or wad? not nights or weekends, when u jolly well know they'll be spending time with the other half. i mean if u wanna keep in contact for competition, at least have one who is better than ur gf and not some ugly ones. we'll think 'wah lau eh.. at least someone with more calibre la, if lose, damn paiseh can?. lose to someone who is much more ugiler than me cept maybe better than us in bed cos she sleeps around'. couple ppl i've come across slept with those ppl who likes them despite having a gf/bf. i've nothing against. if u broke up that particular day and screw at night. it's okay cos at that point of time, u were single.
6. (him) When it comes to activities (e.g movies, where to eat , stuff like that.) It's always up to a guy to suggest and the girl to make the final desicion, even though she says she's fine with anything.
(me) we are fine with anything. you guys keep pushing the decisions to us, afraid that we'll not like it. yes, you've thought for us. but cant everything and everytime be decided by us wad. it makes us feeling like the queen and u're the slaves. both are on fair ground. take turns.
7. (him) With to accept that females have PMS, they they have mood swings, and we should be understanding if they took it out on us. If we have a mood swing, Either prepare to take it out somehow, or not even meet her
(me) try being us for the day 1 of the period and u'll know how we feel. we're already in pain and some things that the guys do, makes us more frustrated and annoyed.. at least do something to make us feel good abt ourselves la. guys have mood swings too. they swing, we swing too la. if he by chance accidentally took it out on us and we happened to have PMS too.. that way, its better for both, feel the taste of being in each other's shoe.
8. (him) At a club, it's ok for a guy to buy the girl a drink coz he's just trying to be friendly and it's ok expanding her social circle. If we bought a drink for a girl, it's interpreted as we're tryin to hit on her.
(me) in the real world, no guy buy drinks for girl they do not know just to be friendly, well, unless u're a caucasian or fucking loaded or friends' friends. ask urself. are u sure just to be friends, or LUST? i believe its the latter. if u're attached, and buying a friend's friend a drink. acceptable cos u've been introduced to her b4 but 70% of ur brain is hitting on her, aiming her hole n her boobs. guys, dun deny, touch ur heart and ask urself. There's no more Mr. Nice in the world anymore.
9. (him) Lastly, (this scenerio is taken from an experience my friend had with his gal)
When her friend's call her to talk while their out ( be it male or female) we have to sit and wait for her to finish. If one of our guy friends msg us while we're out, she takes it as them disturbing the private moment, or that you've made plans with them.
(me) hmm.. i've nothing against this. cept that sometimes its not the friends, its the other half instead, on some special days, he calls his ex or his ex calls. wun u find it irritating, if we do the same to u? calling our ex-es during special days together. if its friends, its perfectly normal, u have ur life.
and the last one.
i wish to add this one myself.
10. when guys gets out of a relationship unofficially, and hopping into the another. many times he doesnt tell the ex-gf that he got attached again and in fact, thety continued seeing each other. so when the current finds out, he tells her oh she knows already. now just friends, cannot meh? i dun see a point why they have to lie abt being attached again? wad's so ashamed? is ur gf that ugly that u cant even tell the truth? geez.. i dun understand men sometimes. i've heard so many of this incident happened b4..usually if i happened to know the guy too, i'll hunt him straight down. this is absurb lor. why bother to enter a relationship when u're not done with the old one? i realised that guys finds it damn fun to hold 2 relationships together. hello, girls how tough has feelings too. we know u're in a dilemma but at least spare thoughts for us. without u lying and tying us down, all of us might even find a better other half, one whose better than each of us.
oh well. its late. i've done my rantings and disagreements.
now time for bed.
memories jotted down @ 2:45 AM `
Never find someone like you
by Keith Martin
Girl you take my breath away
And when I'm with someone new
I'd rather be here with you
Baby, forever
My heart belongs to you
'cause I think about you all the time
I know my love is true
when we're together
I've played around girl and I made you cry
When I looked up, you were saying good-bye
I'm begging you please
I need you so bad
Don't leave me now, you're the best that I've had
CHORUS:
I've never - I'll never find someone like you
I promise it's true
No, I'll never - I'll never find someone like you
Girl I love the way that you are
Girl, I won't, no I won't let you go
No one could ever do, the way I would make love to you
All I have is just my heart
And my feelings, I give to you
That's all that I can do
Give you forever
Oh oh oh, you don't know that you're hurting me
'Cause it's not just a sexual thang
I want to share my dreams, baby, together
Girl, I'm afraid just to ?give you the love?
My heart's still in need to hold back on my love
But when you get close, I just want you to know
I start to get weak I can't let you go
(Chorus)
Just your smile, tenderness
Girl I won't let you down (Won't let you down)
Girl I will never find no one that compares to you
Never find anyone
(Chorus with variations 2x)
memories jotted down @ 10:11 PM `
| Lets Talk About Love With Songs|
Lets talk about relationship based on songs :
Boy meets gal - Can we talk for a minute (Code Red)
Gal meets boy - Crush (Jennifer Page)
Boy gets to know gal - Give me just one night (98 Degrees)
Gal gets close to boy - Dont Phunk With My Heart (Black Eyed Peas)
Boy & Gal gets into relationship - Mesmerize (Ja rule & Ashanti)
- Aphrodiasac (Brandy)
Boy neglects Gal - Sick Of Being Lonely (Field Mob)
Gal gets neglected - Foolish (Ashanti)
Relationship gets nasty - Shut up (Black eyed peas)
- Numb ( Linkin Park)
Boy wants to hang in there - Lets work it (Raghav)
Gal is tired of it - Karma (Alicia Keys)
Boys meets another gal - Cant let go (Fabolous)
Gal finds out - Heartbreak Hotel (Whitney Houston)
Boy & Gal Breaks up - All I have (LL Cool J & Jennifer Lopez)
- I'm Gonna Be Alright (Jennifer Lopez)
Boy meets another gal - Tempted to Touch (Rupee)
Gal stays heart broken - Stuck on you (Stacie)
Which Stage are you in?
source by Ms inkiepinkieponkie!
memories jotted down @ 9:13 PM `
| Phone Sex|
How to be good in phone sex.
1. Use your imagination
Play a role or pretend you're strangers
Guy : Hello, (deep sexy tone) I'm a most wanted guy. Everyone wants me
Gal : Wanted? Osma, is that you??
2. Choose a tone
Be flirty, seductive, demanding or dominerring
Gal : Baby slap yourself twice so hard I can feel and hear it
clearly
Guy : Haha, you gotta be kiddin..
Gal : ?????
3. Try not to laugh
He'll be embarrassed if he thinks you find the whole
situation hilarious
Guy : Little John cant wait to come near you
Gal : Little John?? I thought u said ya big?? *laffs*
4.Make sure you're really into it
Fake sex is bad sex, even on phone
Gal : Oh my god.. it feels so good..
Guy : But I havent even started or did anythin yet
5.Groan, moan, breathe heavily or stay silent
The suspense will kill him
Guy : Baby are you there?
Gal : *Silent*
Guy : Hello??
Gal : *Silent*
Guy : Oye sleep already ah? Dammit.. *hangs up*
Gal : .............Darlin? ..........
6.Describe what you're doing to yourself and what
you'd like to do to him
Give a lot of detail like smell, feel taste and heat of your body
Guy : Baby what perfume you using?
Gal : Me? Oh honey I havent taken ma shower yet.. and my feet kinda stinks.
But lets take it as I'm using "Pleasure".. it smells sweet ....
7.Tell him what he should do to himself
Say thing like "Dont touch yourself until I say you cant!"
Guy : Baby you are driving me crazy
Gal : Oh baby, I want you to touch yourself at *another line* Oh you wait ah
Guy : Wait?? Ah.. naughty gal, you muz be up to something.
Gal : *Busy on the other line*
Guy : *waits*........
source by Ms inkiepinkieponkie!
memories jotted down @ 9:10 PM `
1) 94% of men lie about their penis size.
According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of
men use extra large condoms.
2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect
(no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the
truth).
3) 80% of American men are uncircumsized. Even
though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can
make your penis grow but time (most men reach
the end of their growth by the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and
shoe size, hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically
called "prostatic congestion."
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.
Some stuff on the ladies
------------------------------
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider
themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do).
43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say
they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the
term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking",
and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of
women say they are "sexy".
2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong
size bra.
3) 60% of women have had breast implants.
4) 75% of women dont like oral sex
5) 95% of women shave their privates.
Both
--------------------------------
1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and
women.
2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before they
have graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior
prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage.
3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1
month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.
5 Reasons Why Sex is Good
---------------------------------------------
1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150
calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your
cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.
2) You won't get sick. According to research if you
have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to
get sick.
3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense
of well-being. Women who have more sex were
clinically proven to be less depressed than women
who dont have sex.
4) Makes you look better- [ problem is ugly people
don`t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in your
body which make your skin and hair softer and
shinier and tone your physic.
5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies
prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who
had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate
as those who did not indulge themselves at least
once a month. It also makes you look younger. If
you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to
10 years younger than you really are.
Did You Know
----------------------------------------
1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to
running 75 miles!!!!
memories jotted down @ 1:07 PM `
the weekend's been okay..
bad weather, great steamboat and to my dismay, collecting my specs.
yong tou fu pieces!
prawns!
hong kong noodles!!
thai fish cakes, beef balls, tofu and crabstick!!
and here's the healthiest plate of all... mushrooms and vege....
realised that there's no meat? wasnt intentional.. till we got home then we realised the great missing factor but it was alright.. tasty soup based tom-yam flavoured.
healthy, cheap and filling!
and the disappointment!
and here's a pic of urs truly in glasses.. nerdy right!?
memories jotted down @ 7:36 AM `
the saddest news of my whole 20 yrs of living
i had my eyes checked today due to desperate measures and had my specs done
geez!
hate to admit
but ya..
*lets out a long n loud sigh*
memories jotted down @ 11:22 PM `
mambo was alright last night.
a very last min one as a matter of fact..
stepped in @ 12.
great..
till around 130, xuan came up to me to tell me that she got her butt groped..
geez!
so i went down to the dancefloor cos xuan n her friends was already confronting him..right after xuan told me, i msged andy already to get his bouncers over already.
if the guy thinks he can get away with it, he's SO FUCKING WRONG!!
the best part he could go on 'what did i do?' , blah blah blah
at least lie with an accused face if u wanna deny la..
fucking stupid fella was smiling away and denying.
his friend came in, tried to see wad happened.
i just shouted at him and he said 'SO WHAT?'
bloody hell, outraging a girl's modesty lor..and after me shouting the reason, i got so fed up.
i told him, if u think grabbing a girl's ass is alright, why not i cut off ur dick..
same theory wad..
when the 5 girls surrounded the suspect, he still had to cheek to sneak away, kat pushed him back into the circle.
5 mins later,no bouncers in sight (or maybe i'm too short among the tall guys surrounding us), i see nothing!
so andy told me to pull him out..
i think he touched xuan on her shoulder.
*piak* a slap flew across his face.
so typical me, i grabbed him by the collar
pulled him out of the crowd..
knowing there'll be a bouncer at the stairs at the bar there.
i pulled him hard.. he kept on slapping my hand and asking me to let go.
i told him 'hit my hand one more time, i swear a punch will land on ur face'
den soon enuff, i see a bouncer waiting for that fucker's arrival..
went out along..
fresh air. thank andy. stand around and wait for verdict with qing n kai n danny.
as i was thanking andy..the fucker's friends came out..
i saw a familiar face. so as i was walking in, i told him.
'u know me, i dun give face. friends will still be friends. but friendship and this issue are 2 different matter. girl got molested in this issue. i will not let go. anyway police are on their way. wish ur friend good luck'
i'm like that...
u're nice to me , i'll be nicer to u.
if u wana show attitude, u watch out.
in zouk, u wanna disturb ppl, find someone not in my range.
u hurt me, or my friends, u're in big serious trouble.
i'll make sure u remember my face and name
next thing i knew was that the guy was handcuffed out to the station already..
i sniggered away with qing and abt 215, xuan n her friend were with us.
said that they needed to go cantonment for report later..
so i asked crix if he can dropped them off at the station..
THANK YOU SWEETIE!! u the sweetest!
haha!
memories jotted down @ 2:38 PM `
the long awaited photos of 5th June 2005, Michelle and Martin's wedding dinner!
memories jotted down @ 7:05 PM `