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Friday, July 15, 2005
hmm..very interesting topic i have. actually its linked to the boy's latest entry.
relationship problems
having a fair share of relationships myself, i've met all sorts of guys. nice, bastards, jerks, fuckers and the list goes on. and it's also because of them, i've changed and think differently tough, fearless, protective for my gals and holding friends like treasure cos i know they've stood by me in times of need and their shoulders' and ears will be there for me each time i was heart-broken.
i've been thru loads of shit my whole 20 yrs. friends, who cries buckets for the unworthy (be it guy or ger), friends whose bfs' are screwing around or even committing/attempting suicide.
its not that we're complicated.. but i guess guys will nvr understand our feeling and to be fair, we won't understand theirs too. no one will be able to read each others mind, if we just keep mum abt stuffs. someone has to start.
few pointers i'll like to point out.
*(him) = jason
(me) = me
1. (him) Friends are more importand then bfs/ gfs. ermm yeah.. her friends are more important.. when she wants time with her friends she has to have it. When we want time with ours.. we have to do it to her convenience.
(me) friends are impt, yes. but can anyone assure the stability of the r/s? friends support thru the r/s. we turn to help for a shoulder and a listening ear? friends are with u for a lifetime, bfs are not.
2. (him) She says that honesty is the most important in a relationship. She wants to know who calls you, who msgs you, who you're out with. When we ask whoever calls or msgs she says a friend ( duh would you be happily chatting with an enemy??) or it's none of our business.
(me) honesty INDEED is the most essesstial thing in the r/s. without it, nothing can work. Asking who called, msged and out with DOESNT mean u gotta answer. if u deserve privacy, we'll give but if u break the trust once. well, that's too bad! abt the chatting with ur enemy one, i think its pretty annoying cos since u know the answer already, why bothering asking?
3. (him) It's fine if a guy friend calls her or asks her out coz well... she says theyre just friends but it's not ok for us to be out or even talk to other girls.
(me) the walk of my life, i've seen own friend's bf holding hand in hand with another girl entering a hotel lobby. i went up to him and asked him wad's with that? he told me they're just friends. and so i asked 'oh, so u screw friends?' so many times in my life, so many ppl close to my heart has betrayed my trust the same way. how can i trust the same old damn excuse?
4. (him) It's normal for girls to sit around and talk about cute guys or comment on cute guys that they see on the street. We on the other hand would get a stare with the mere mention of dreamin bout seeing fiona xie in a biikin.
(me) for my case, i dun care. dream all u want, cos i know with their calibre, they'll nvr get her. so i'll just let them dream all they want.
5. (him) When a guy has a crush on your girl and you don't like it, we have to adapt to it and get used to it coz there will always be guys tryin to win her over. If you ask her to stop talkin to him, she'll say don't be silly coz he's just jokin and he's not a threat. On the other hand, if a girl like a guy and his gf doesn't like it. He'll have to stop contacting her all together.
(me) that's what they all say. 'i dun contact her anymore la'. but in actual fact, they're doing it behind ur back. i know cos i've been the one behind the back b4. guys like to have girls fighting for them. and many at times, things tend to go out of hand. if they wanna contact, fine. but pick a bloody good timing la. eg, in the afternoon or wad? not nights or weekends, when u jolly well know they'll be spending time with the other half. i mean if u wanna keep in contact for competition, at least have one who is better than ur gf and not some ugly ones. we'll think 'wah lau eh.. at least someone with more calibre la, if lose, damn paiseh can?. lose to someone who is much more ugiler than me cept maybe better than us in bed cos she sleeps around'. couple ppl i've come across slept with those ppl who likes them despite having a gf/bf. i've nothing against. if u broke up that particular day and screw at night. it's okay cos at that point of time, u were single.
6. (him) When it comes to activities (e.g movies, where to eat , stuff like that.) It's always up to a guy to suggest and the girl to make the final desicion, even though she says she's fine with anything.
(me) we are fine with anything. you guys keep pushing the decisions to us, afraid that we'll not like it. yes, you've thought for us. but cant everything and everytime be decided by us wad. it makes us feeling like the queen and u're the slaves. both are on fair ground. take turns.
7. (him) With to accept that females have PMS, they they have mood swings, and we should be understanding if they took it out on us. If we have a mood swing, Either prepare to take it out somehow, or not even meet her
(me) try being us for the day 1 of the period and u'll know how we feel. we're already in pain and some things that the guys do, makes us more frustrated and annoyed.. at least do something to make us feel good abt ourselves la. guys have mood swings too. they swing, we swing too la. if he by chance accidentally took it out on us and we happened to have PMS too.. that way, its better for both, feel the taste of being in each other's shoe.
8. (him) At a club, it's ok for a guy to buy the girl a drink coz he's just trying to be friendly and it's ok expanding her social circle. If we bought a drink for a girl, it's interpreted as we're tryin to hit on her.
(me) in the real world, no guy buy drinks for girl they do not know just to be friendly, well, unless u're a caucasian or fucking loaded or friends' friends. ask urself. are u sure just to be friends, or LUST? i believe its the latter. if u're attached, and buying a friend's friend a drink. acceptable cos u've been introduced to her b4 but 70% of ur brain is hitting on her, aiming her hole n her boobs. guys, dun deny, touch ur heart and ask urself. There's no more Mr. Nice in the world anymore.
9. (him) Lastly, (this scenerio is taken from an experience my friend had with his gal)
When her friend's call her to talk while their out ( be it male or female) we have to sit and wait for her to finish. If one of our guy friends msg us while we're out, she takes it as them disturbing the private moment, or that you've made plans with them.
(me) hmm.. i've nothing against this. cept that sometimes its not the friends, its the other half instead, on some special days, he calls his ex or his ex calls. wun u find it irritating, if we do the same to u? calling our ex-es during special days together. if its friends, its perfectly normal, u have ur life.
and the last one.
i wish to add this one myself.
10. when guys gets out of a relationship unofficially, and hopping into the another. many times he doesnt tell the ex-gf that he got attached again and in fact, thety continued seeing each other. so when the current finds out, he tells her oh she knows already. now just friends, cannot meh? i dun see a point why they have to lie abt being attached again? wad's so ashamed? is ur gf that ugly that u cant even tell the truth? geez.. i dun understand men sometimes. i've heard so many of this incident happened b4..usually if i happened to know the guy too, i'll hunt him straight down. this is absurb lor. why bother to enter a relationship when u're not done with the old one? i realised that guys finds it damn fun to hold 2 relationships together. hello, girls how tough has feelings too. we know u're in a dilemma but at least spare thoughts for us. without u lying and tying us down, all of us might even find a better other half, one whose better than each of us.
oh well. its late. i've done my rantings and disagreements.
now time for bed.
memories jotted down @ 2:45 AM `