Friday, April 08, 2005
Message: NO sex for tonight
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of
men and women differ so much. And I never have
figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their heads
and women with their hearts.
FOR EXAMPLE
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the
planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs
as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by
saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and
not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to
take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went
shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I
walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her
we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery
department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must
have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from
all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear,
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, "No, honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with
my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
memories jotted down @ 2:49 PM `